The Sunday Receipts: I Spent $847 This Week & Only Kept 3 Things (The Math You Need to See)

Listen, I know what you came for. You want to know if I'm eating my words from last month. If the "Keeps" actually held up. If my Cost-Per-Wear math looks as good in reality as it did in my head.

Spoiler: One of my "Keeps" from January is already pilling. The Verdict has been updated—and yes, I'm publicly apologizing.

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The Numbers (aka The Damage)

Total Spent This Week	$847.43
Items Purchased	14
Items Kept	3
Items Returned	10
Still Pending (backordered mess)	1
Actual Money Out The Door	$247.50

Yeah. That's a 70.8% return rate. And honestly? That's low for me. I've had weeks where 90% went back.

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What Actually Made It to the Keep Pile

✅ KEEP #1: Uniqlo Cotton Oversized Shirt — $29.90

• Fabric: 100% organic cotton, mid-weight
• The Sit Test: Passed with flying colors. No gaping, no riding up.
• The Squat Test: N/A (it's a shirt, calm down)
• Projected Cost-Per-Wear: $0.60 (assuming 50 wears)

This is the workhorse I needed. Washed it twice already—actually got softer. No shrinkage. French seams at the shoulders (which at $30 is wild). The Verdict: This is what every "basics" brand should be doing. No notes.

✅ KEEP #2: Everlane The Way-High Jean — $98

• Fabric: 98% organic cotton, 2% elastane
• Stated Size: 29 — Actual Fit: True to size, slightly generous in waist
• The Sit Test: No muffin top. Waistband doesn't dig. Miracle.
• The Squat Test: 100% squat-proof. Zero sheerness.

Okay, I dragged Everlane in my January post for their "not actually transparent" transparency. These jeans? They earned a temporary stay of execution. The rise is genuinely high (12"), the denim has actual heft, and—here's the kicker—they have elasticated back panels hidden in the waistband. Your post-lunch self will thank you.

✅ KEEP #3: Target A New Day Cardigan — $24.99

• Fabric: 55% cotton, 25% modal, 20% polyester
• The Sit Test: Comfortable, drapes well when seated
• Construction: Ribbed cuffs actually stay put (unusual for this price)

I wanted to hate this because it's Target and the influencer crowd has been pushing it hard. But the fabric blend is smart—the modal keeps it from feeling "crunchy" (my most hated texture), and the cotton gives it structure. For $25? The Verdict: Dupe for the $120 Jenni Kayne cardigan that everyone's reselling on Poshmark for $80. Don't pay $80 for used Target. Just buy the Target.

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The Return Pile: What Failed & Why

I processed 10 returns this week. Here's the greatest hits of disappointment:

❌ Aritzia "Wilfred" Wool Coat — $350

Let me say this loud for the back: THIS IS NOT 100% WOOL. It's 52% wool, 48% viscose and polyester. The website buries this in a dropdown. The hangtag in-store said "wool coat." Technically true. Practically? A lie.

Worse: the lining is 100% polyester that rustled like a bag of chips every time I moved. For $350. The Verdict: RETURN—and I'm side-eyeing Aritzia's entire "premium" positioning. (It's Zara with better lighting. Don't @ me.)

❌ Reformation "Christy" Dress — $248

I wanted this to work. The cut was gorgeous. The print was perfect. But the fabric? 100% viscose with a "dry clean only" tag.

Here's the math that matters: If I wear this 10 times and dry clean it after every 2 wears (necessary with viscose—it holds sweat like a grudge), that's 5 dry cleans at ~$15 each. That's $75 in maintenance for a $248 dress. My Cost-Per-Wear just exploded.

The Verdict: RETURN. Pretty isn't enough when the maintenance costs more than the garment.

❌ Skims "Stretch Rib" Tank — $42

Two washes. That's how long the elasticity lasted. Two. Then it was just a cotton tube that bagged out around my hips and refused to recover. For $42, I expect at least a season of wear.

The Verdict: RETURN—and into the Shame Bin for premature aging.

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🚨 PUBLIC APOLOGY: I Was Wrong About Something

Remember my January "Keep" on the Madewell "Perfect Vintage" Jean? I said they were "the best under-$100 denim I've tried."

I have to retract that.

After 6 wears and 3 washes, the thigh area is pilling like a cheap sweater. The dye is fading unevenly (and yes, I washed them inside-out in cold water like a responsible adult). The "vintage" look is now just "sad."

I moved them from the Keep pile to the Shame Bin this morning. I'm issuing a refund request.

To everyone who bought them based on my recommendation: I'm sorry. I should have wash-tested before calling them a Keep. This is why I do The Receipts—to catch my own mistakes. The updated Verdict is RETURN.

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The Dish Rag Award 🏆

Given to the worst fabric of the week.

This Week's Winner: The H&M "Conscious" Linen Blend Blazer ($59.99)

Claimed fabric: "Premium linen blend." Actual composition: 35% linen, 65% viscose and polyester. It felt like cardboard fresh from the box, softened into dish-rag territory after one wash (despite following their instructions), and wrinkled if you looked at it aggressively.

The "Conscious" line strikes again—greenwashing wrapped in an itchy, wrinkly package. The Verdict: Hard RETURN, and H&M remains on my probation list.

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The Real Talk: Cost-Per-Wear Math

Everyone talks about Cost-Per-Wear (CPW) like it's simple division. It's not. You have to factor in:

• Maintenance costs: Dry cleaning, special detergents, storage
• Replacement timeline: How many wears before it's unwearable?
• Versatility factor: Can you wear it to work AND dinner?
• Comfort tax: If you avoid wearing it because it's "special occasion only," your CPW skyrockets

Here's my actual CPW on this week's Keeps:

Item	Purchase Price	Est. Total Wears	True CPW
Uniqlo Shirt	$29.90	50+	$0.60
Everlane Jeans	$98	60	$1.63
Target Cardigan	$24.99	40	$0.62

Compare that to the Reformation dress that almost made it: $24.80 CPW after dry cleaning costs. That's the difference between "investment" and "expensive mistake."

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What I'm Eyeing Next Week

I'm dropping $200 on a haul from Quince—the brand that keeps getting compared to Everlane but "actually cheaper." I'm skeptical (that usually means corners are being cut somewhere), but their Mongolian cashmere at $50 has my attention. Will it pill? Will it shrink? Will the "cashmere" be 30% nylon?

Subscribe to find out. I'll be doing the full autopsy.

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The Bottom Line

Out of $847 spent, I kept $247 worth of stuff. That's a 70% "failure" rate if you're a brand. That's a 70% success rate if you're protecting your wallet.

Don't let the Instagram hauls fool you. Nobody shows the returns. Nobody admits the "Keep" that became a "Regret."

This is The Receipts. I'll see you next Sunday with another spreadsheet full of truth.

— Sloane